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I Had a Miscarriage: Now What?

posted May 20, 2015 by Moms in Tow (Kara)

Today's featured blog is from Maggie over at Tugboat Yarning. Along with being a discount partner, she has a great heart for sharing and connecting with women.

We are sharing a portion of the post below, but you can see the full thing over at her website. Thanks Maggie!


PLEASE NOTE:  This is not a post for everyone.  In fact, this post is written for those women that need more information, more details, more something to help fill in the gaps while having a miscarriage.  There is no What to Expect: Miscarriage Edition, and I knew through my own experience with miscarriage that I wanted more of those tiny details at my fingertips.  So this is for you, dear, sweet, brave woman: you who want to hear others’ experiences to get a feel for how this thing goes.  For others who are reading this, please be mindful that it took a lot of courage for these women to share their stories.  Don’t take their openness lightly; I know I shed more than a few tears answering these eight questions.  Please be respectful.

The following eight stories are written by a variety of women, and are answering eight questions that I found myself asking as I miscarried Baby H-G3 – the pregnancy following the births of my first two children.  Hopefully they will help you through your loss, or maybe give someone insight to what miscarriage can be to those who experience it.


1. What is your brief miscarriage story?

STORY ONE: We were dealing with infertility for three years, and when we FINALLY got another pink line when taking the pregnancy test, we were thrilled! We thanked God for this perfect and wonderful gift, called our doctor, and set up our first appointment. At our first appointment we asked for an ultrasound to confirm (we were still in disbelief!) Our first ultrasound revealed that we may have been “too early” to see anything. Deep down, I knew something was wrong – had an ultrasound again a few weeks later, only to once again leave in tears… a blighted ovum… an empty sac where once it held our miracle.

STORY TWO: I miscarried in September of 2013. We had recently moved into our house and were involved in lots of home improvement projects. I was worried and resentful that a lot of lifting and activity may have played a part. We were working that evening when I told my husband I was having cramps but we just played them off as stress related. I woke up that night, between 2-3am, and miscarried alone, in my bathroom.

STORY THREE: On New Year’s Day 2012 I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was over the moon excited. Then I got my first HCG blood test and the number was very low. I had a second, third, and forth test, etc. The number was increasing, but not at the rate it was supposed to. Every moment that went by was excruciating. Not knowing what was wrong. It was unbearable. Basically, the doctor determined that my pregnancy was ectopic at 12 weeks and I was forced to take a shot to force a miscarriage. It was the worst day of my life and I wouldn’t wish this kind of emotional and physical pain on my worst enemy.

STORY FOUR: After nine months of trying for #2 baby, I found out I was pregnant two days before Valentine’s Day 2008.   I started bleeding at 7 weeks 6 days and no heartbeat was found at the hospital, but they thought I might be off on my dates  (I knew I wasn’t).  I was sent home to wait to see if my HCG would fall and if a “spontaneous abortion” (their horrible term) would occur.  A few days later the HCG showed a decline.  A few more days and I began to cramp and lose the baby.

STORY FIVE: My husband and I started trying to get pregnant and were successful our first month. I had positive pregnancy tests for a week before they petered out to Not Pregnant. Miscarriage #1 (potential chemical pregnancy?) We waited a whole cycle, then tried again. Pregnant! I had blood tests showing great hormone levels, then two weeks later started bleeding. Miscarriage #2. This time was more rough because the physical part was drawn out for a long time and over the Christmas holiday to boot.

STORY SIX: I had no sign of miscarriage leading up to my 12 week appointment, and when I saw my OB at my first visit, she was already talking about having an ultrasound to check for multiples because I was measuring larger than expected. Unfortunately, talk of twins was quieted when she was unable to find a heart tone (let alone two). Ultrasound confirmed that things weren’t right – no familiar glow of a baby on the screen, just this gut-wrenching black space. There was talk of having a D&C since my body hadn’t shown any signs of miscarriage, but then faint bleeding began the next evening. Most of the time the bleeding was like a normal period, but I had a 4am trip to the bathroom to pass a couple golf-ball sized clots, and then had maybe half a dozen times of working through some mild contractions for a few hours at a time throughout the first week that I bled.

STORY SEVEN: I had my first July 3, 2004 – miscarried about 8 weeks, no one knew we were even trying and no one knew I miscarried and it was the worst mistake ever. I felt alone, it hurt my marriage because he didn’t understand. I had two babies after that. Then December 2009 I miscarried again at 15 weeks, but they told me she died four weeks prior. We had seen her on ultrasound at nine weeks and were told then her twin passed already. My body kept growing, I kept throwing up, I felt so betrayed by my body. This time everyone knew. The love that poured down on me from God’s people was so healing. I went on to have two more babies but not very easily.

STORY EIGHT: We tried to have a baby for almost a year before we decided to go to a fertility clinic. I was put on Femara and Progesterone for three months and on the third month was thrilled to find out we were pregnant. I got blood work confirming the pregnancy, told close family and friends, but two days later additional blood work showed dropping levels. They defined this as a “chemical pregnancy”. I sure had a lot of hopes and dreams for this 5 week old baby. The bleeding started Labor Day weekend and the emotional healing continues.

to view the rest of this amazing post, you can read it here !

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